Letter

I got a letter from a middle school student. His class (apperantly) is writing to student missionaries. I've decided to post it, taking out all the personal info and adding commentary.

Dear Chris Christiansen,

Hello, my name is J.G. I wanted to right to you and say that it is really nice that you are in Mongolia for missionary work. I looked up some stuff about Mongolia and it is a beautiful deserted place.

-deserted huh?-

I live in ______, next to the gas station. I live with my mom and dad, two brothers, three dogs and a bird that will eat anything! I love the winter here.

-they don't have winter there kid-

Sometimes it snows but not usually.
-see what I mean?-

My house is nice. It's blue, with a red deck, white front porch, and aqua blue windows. I have cool neighbors we always play baseball until one of the mean neighbors' dads tells us to stop. We still play when they're not home but they will never find out.

-your secret is... well I guess I've just posted it on the internet so it's not safe with me, but you know what I mean.-

What is it like being a student missionary?
-Can't complain, though I sometimes feel like I'm not getting much done.-

So what's in Mongolia?
-That's a very broad question. There's lots of rocks, lots of sheep, and not many Mongolians.-

Why did you pick Mongolia and what type of food do they eat?
-I picked Mongolia because I thought I could do some good here, and because it feels like my home. To the second (completely unrelated) question: they eat lots of boiled mutton, boiled beef, boiled potatoes, and boiled cabbage.-

Do they speak Spanish?
-How can I say this gently? I can't. I'll just let it be. No, they don't speak Spanish.-

I'm from Puerto Rico and I speak Spanish.
-Those two things would both be setbacks if you were trying to live here.-

Thank you for following God's lead and becoming a missionary. You're very lucky because you don't have any homework.
-No homework? Then why do I spend so long working outside class?-

I hate that stuff!
-you and everyone else-

I think it's really cool that you became a student missionary and are to helping (sic) people in Mongolia. Have a good time in Mongolia and a Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

Sincerely
J.G.

The letter took five weeks to get here. It made my day, especially because I got to tease the guy (I'm evil).

Ugh.....

Pride comes before a fall. It's really odd, isn't it? It seems to apply to every type of pride. Any time you think "wow, I'm good", a warning flag should go up.
Yesterday I made a quick dash to the shop near the school to pick up some bread. I left without putting on my coat, as is my custom. When I got back Itgil (front desk worker) and Naasa (translator for church) gave me weird looks, as is their custom. It's a bit of an ongoing battle: whether or not one should put on a coat for a short dash into sub-zero temperatures.
"You're going to get sick" Naasa said.
"No, I'll be fine" I said.
"Mongolian wind is dangerous, you don't know" she said.
"I do know, this isn't my first winter" I said.
"No, you don't know" she said.
I tried my trump card. "Look", I said. "Since I got here Itgil has gotten sick four times. She's stayed home from work twice. I haven't even gotten a cold yet. Itgil bundles up until she looks like a fat arab, I go out in a t-shirt".
"You don't know" she repeated.

By that night I had a sore throat and a throbbing sinus headache. I ate enough raw ginger and garlic to scare away any sane human, and drank so much water that I wasn't able to stay in bed for more than an hour at a time, but in the morning I felt even worse.
I was lying in bed, half awake and miserable at about 10:00, when suddenly the guard / maintenance guy walked into my apartment without knocking. Apparently the door had been left unlocked.
Paying no heed to me, he casually walked over to my phone and started making calls. He continued making calls for about 20 minutes as I lay there, dizzy and mostly naked. He then casually thanked me and left. I immediately got up and locked the door.
That's one thing that bugs me about the Mongolian culture. They have different ideas about privacy and personal space. When I went to go buy jeans a few days ago, the guy running the shop casually waltzed into the changing area. I found this odd, but didn't particularly mind. He then invited a woman into said changing area, who stayed there as I tried on three pairs of jeans. My mind evaluated the situation and decided that if she didn't care, I didn't care.

The same goes for the massage place, but we won't go there.

So now I'm sitting on the computer, feeling bored out of my mind as I am reduced to an organic pain collector. I hope I feel better by this evening, because there's supposed to be a nice New Year celebration in Sukhbaatar Square.

That and I bought $20 worth of fireworks, which would probably cost me twice that much in the US.

Side note: I am still of the (medically sound) opinion that brief exposure to cold air doesn't make you sick. I think I caught this from Itgil over the weekend when 30 of us were crammed into a ger. Still, I'll try not to tempt fate by bragging about my record.

Snow!

I took this picture because there was ice on her eyelashes and I thought it looked cool, but I think it turned out to be just a plain old good picture. What do you think?

Over the weekend we went just outside the city limits to a camp where we could go sledding and skiing. I came back grumpy last night, but I think that's just because my bad ankle was semi-sprained, my arms were both sore, and a the guy running the "rental" (a pile of sleds and half a dozen pairs of skis) had been bugging me all day.

Early Sunday morning I had gone to the guy renting sleds and skis and had asked how much it would cost to rent skis. He said it was T5,000 for a day, about $4.50. I looked at the skis and wondered how on earth he managed to pay for his things. The skis weren't amazing (not that I would know) but they looked just like skis one would rent in the US. They hadn't been extensively repaired, they weren't too worn, they just looked normal. I guessed at my size (sizes here are different) and took some to try on. I guessed wrong. I guess I'm a 44 and not a 43. I took the skis back, but by then the church group had decided to play a game of soccer in the snow (it was -30). Using one of my friends to translate I said I’d be back in half an hour or so to get a pair that fit. He said ok. Payment - Proposal - "OK" would define the rest of my interactions with the schmuck.

I was back in half an hour with a sore ankle that had forced me to stop playing. I got a pair of ski boots that fit and was about to head off for the hill when the man asked me for money. I told him that I’d already paid this morning, but the boots had been too small. He said “OK”.

It was really hard climbing up the hill in ski boots. It’s a lot steeper than it looks in the pictures, though one of the videos does it justice. I only went down three times, because it started getting really crowded. After that I gave up, and went to rent a sled.

The man was waiting for me, and renewed his request for another T5,000. I grabbed a friend, and explained through her that I had already paid. He was adamant. I then offered to pay him T5,000 and get a sled instead of the skis. He said that would be fine.

Sledding was fun, except that the snow was so powdery that I got plastered in it. My glasses froze to my face, and when I took them off later they ripped out hair. The hill was really crowded, and no one knew how to steer, or had the sense to not walk up the sled runs. I saw some very spectacular accidents where people got hit so hard they did a complete flip. At one point a woman got carried in on a sled, apparently unconscious (at least at first).

It was still -20, and after a few hours I’d had enough. I went into the lodge, and was met by the rental guy who demanded more money. One of my friends translated, but it did no good. Finally I gave up, gave him 4,000, and told him (in English) never to come near me again.

He didn’t listen. A few minutes later he came, angrily demanding the sled.

I had given him the sled, such as it was. It was really two cracked sleds that had been riveted together.

He said he was missing a sled, and it was our group’s fault. Our group was unable to come up with evidence to the contrary, so he demanded T25,000.

$21 is a lot of sled. In fact, with the low prices they have here, that’s enough to pay for the trip into the city center, a new sled, and dinner for him and his wife. Still, the group paid. I gave T3,000 towards his family outing, but I was still ticked.

Still, in retrospect, I suppose I did get in a day of skiing and sledding for around $15. By US standards I came out on top.

Our pile of stuff for the weekend.

People in the van.

It's A LOT steeper than it looks.
Burma's hair is covered in frost.
I learned a very interesting fact. With an outhouse like this, you pretty much have to hold onto the door. Unfortunately, when it's -30 you can't hold onto the door for more than a few seconds without a glove on your hand. It was... unpleasant.
People were always asking me to take their picture. I'm not exactly sure why, it's not like they're ever going to have the pictures, though they certainly could if they wanted.
Am I going to be like this nut when I'm 50?
You can see the steam pouring out from the top of the ger door.

And if you couldn't see the steam pouring through the door, you can see it in this video.
________________________________________________________
Being a missionary doesn't mean you never fail

I promise there will be something worth reading soon.

Mongolia, as a nation, has an inferiority complex of a sort. Of course, no one would ever tell you this, and it seems like it's just the opposite. Mongolians are more patriotic than Americans by far, but I've noticed that they don't direct their admiration to anything tangible. They put a lot of energy into denying the existence of any sort of dichotomy in the country. Mongolia is a normal, modern nation full of cheap Chinese junk, just like all the other normal, modern nations full of cheap Chinese junk.
I've come to this conclusion based on how people react when I try to take a picture. The Christmas tree in the lobby was covered in money (like shrines and such are covered in money) and I wanted to take a picture of it. Before I got the chance, however, someone took all the money off.
I decided that since the tree HAD been covered in money, I could cover it in money myself, take a picture, and then take all the money off again. Itgil saw me come down the stairs with my camera and money, and immediately told me not to do it.
Why? I asked.
"Because you're going to put it on the internet" she said.
"So?"
"You'll say it's a Mongolian Christmas" she said.

I told her that was overly simplistic. She didn't know what simplistic meant. I got out the English - Mongolian dictionary and showed her. She stuck to her original statement that I shouldn't take the picture.

The same thing happened at the store. There were girls there dressed up as elves, or some other mythical creature that wears red and white Christmas outfits lined with fake fluff that might be mistaken for fake fur. I asked one of the girls if I could take a picture. No one understands what I say except my friends, I think it might be a plot of some kind. I had to ask her twice, and when she finally understood she hid her face and said no!
Today I tried again. It was a really lousy picture because she wouldn't look at the camera, but whatever.

Here is a slightly better picture of the inside of the skate rental shack. The words say "get skates" and "give shoes"

Something tells me I still won't understand people...

Kholan won't be teaching me any more. Period. I stepped on her toes (I do that a lot) and she's mad at me. Besides, she's starting college now and she doesn't have time.
So I have to come up with a new way to learn the language.

эхэнд - in the beginning. (эхэн: the first month of summer, the first stage, д: a suffix meaning "in the" or "from the")

Yг - word (capitalized as a proper noun)

байсан - was, had existance

Yг (word) Бypxaнтай (Бypxaн-God, тай-"with" suffix) xaмт (together with) бa (and) Yг (Word) нь (is) Бypxaн (God) байсан (was)

Эхэнд Yг байсан, Бypxaнтай xaмт бa Yг нь Бypxaн байсан.

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.

I think their language wins in the efficiency department.

So that's the plan. Hopefully I can kill two birds with one stone, or graciously allow them to live by not throwing the aforementioned solitary stone. I need to study Mongolian, and I REALLY need to study the Bible more. So, I here I sit with five books: two Bibles and $60 worth of dictionaries (the students are always borrowing them because they're nice, but they cost me a bundle).

Wish me luck!

(Edit) After studying for an hour, I managed to get through five verses. I should point out that I memorized John 1 as a child, meaning that my mind instantly recognized the relation of words between each other. The entire hour was spent looking up words in the dictionary and realizing that this is nearly hopeless. The Altiac languages work by agglutination, meaning that words are formed by sticking together a root and a bunch of suffixes. This means that the dictionary is very good at giving a definition of the root, but the suffixes are confusing. I also remembered that the plural forms of Mongolian words are about as unpredictable as English irregular verbs, after I puzzled over a word for 10 minutes before realizing it was the plural form of "things"... at least I think that's what it is.

Still, I managed to learn the following words:

гepeп (gerelth) – light

бa (ba) – and

another word for and that this font won’t let me type

бий бопсон (bee bolthson) – a phrase that means “were created”, though I fail to see how this relates to the meaning of бопсон (ripened, matured, finished), and Gerezul can’t explain how бий (which has no meaning) modifies words.

Tyугээр – by Him (not technically the right spelling, but who cares?)

Ч (ch) – a modifier to mean “nothing specific” i.e. юм ч – anything, хэн ч – anyone
...and the word for "overcame" (in the form of did not overcome, which is all one word in Mongolian) but I closed the cyrillic text window and I'm too lazy to go get it again.