Why me? Why now? Why them?

Tonight's Bible study is going to be on 2 Kings 2:23-25.

That's probably meaningless to most of you. It certainly didn't mean anything to me before I started searching frantically for a way to explain the story. The student's copied the story and took it with them yesterday, which means they have had 12 hours more to think about it than I have.

The story reads as follows:
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. "Get out of here, baldy!" they said. "Get out of here, baldy!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

Here's the same story again, only this time it's shown as someone will read it when they are introduced to it for the first time:

Some kids made fun of a bald guy. God killed them all.

Now, while this version may resonate with people who are moving rapidly toward bowling ball status, the rest of us have to think. Why would God do that?

I never realized just how bloody the ministry of Elisha was. A few weeks ago we read 1 Kings 19:16-17:
Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu.

I was completely confused. Prophets aren't supposed to run around killing kids. Prophets aren't supposed to encourage people to smash babies against rocks (Psalms 137:9). While we're at it, prophets aren't supposed to use language I can't read in front of a church without having stuff thrown at me ( Ezekiel 23:20). Prophets shouldn't tell pronounce death upon people who refuse to cut them up with a sword upon request (1 Kings 20:35-36). It's just not nice.

Not nice at all.

Apparently the Christian world agrees with me. Most of the sources that I turn to when I need an explanation for things like this (i.e. internet sources) were silent on this passage. In their place hundreds of anti-Christian sites jostled for space on the search page. I found two sources that claimed to be Bible studies on the passage. One was a parody site. The other was an atheistic historical analysis.
The Bible commentary said something to the effect of "don't make fun of bald people", which I found to be overly simplistic. The E.G. White search page is too complicated to bother with, especially when you don't know what term to search for.

However, as I pondered this text a thought came to me. There are really only two ways to view this story. Once one has chosen a view the question is no longer one about God's nature, or his authority to do things like maim (or kill) people with bears. I'll let you decide what the new question is.

The first view is that there is no God, and that the story is purely a work of fiction meant to be used as a moral tale, or perhaps as a tool to influence society's view of the classical prophet. In this case it really doesn't matter what the story says, because it's a work of fiction. No matter how much we may dislike it when the "good guy" in a work of fiction does something bad, it's still a work of fiction, and therefore it's contents are only as important as we make them.

Most of the people who discuss the story at all have chosen to take this view. I don't. If someone chooses to take this view then the question "is it wrong to kill rude kids with bears" is moot in the first place, since by calling something "wrong" you are saying that one way is more inherently moral than another. This stance implies an absolute standard of morality; a standard which the more moral thing can be closer to. A godless universe cannot have such a standard.

The other view is that there is a God. If you start from this view, the mind takes an altogether stance. What kind of power does this G0d have? All power. What kind of guy is this God? He is love. What's our current standing with this God? Well, technically we're condemned criminals, but for some reason he's decided to call us sons... it's really confusing actually.

We may then re-read the story, keeping in mind what God had said to Elijah back in chapter 19; that he was going to send three people who would kill the Baal worshipers in Israel. Why? Because they had refused plea after plea, gentle and harsh punishment, rewards and logic, signs from heaven and their own consciences. If you view these boys in that light, as part of the group that had rejected God's prophets; the group that was calling Israel to offer their children as sacrifices, commit adultery, and ultimately die lost.... it might make a little more sense.

Or, if you prefer, you could say there is a God and he hates us all. If this story stood alone that logic would explain it. However, one would have to reject the rest of the Bible to think that way, and why would you toss out a book just to keep a paragraph?

Plus, I think that if God hated us we'd be gone by now.

For some reason I have the feeling that someone's going to throw verses at me for this post. I hope not. I dislike being smacked over the head with verses. I'll take what I must take though.

I dare anyone, ANYONE to read the Ezekiel verse up front. ROFLOL!
(my roflolcopter goes lololololololololololololololololololoaBOOOOOOM)

...yea, no one's going to get that. Even the people who IM.